May-December marriage good investment

I was cleaning out the files on my office computer today and came across one of my old columns from when I wrote for our local Today's Woman Magazine. This is from about ten years ago. I am now 62 and my husband is 77, I was in my early 50s and he hadn't been retired all that long when it was published. Thought I would share it as a post.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the greater the age split between husband and wife, the longer the relationship lasts. Several years ago the center conducted a 28 state study of 134,000 couples and found there was a significant drop in the divorce rate when husbands were at least 10 or more years older than their wives.

They’re called May-December marriages. I consider myself an expert on the subject since my husband and I just celebrated our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary and he is almost 15 years my senior. Just like in the movies, it’s true that the older man is a catch for any girl. However, if you have not been exposed to a mature man, it takes a little getting used to.


At 27 years of age I had never had a man assist me down the stairs, open a car door for me or order my dinner at a swanky restaurant. Actually, the closest I had come to fine dining was eating inside at McDonald’s instead of going through the drive-thru window.

The first time my husband took my arm to help me down the stairs, I jerked away and said “For crying out loud-I can walk down the steps by myself!” There was a mixed expression on his face, one that was a toss up as to whether to be hurt, or to push me the rest of the way down the stairs.

Remembering to sit still until he walked around and opened the car door for me was a real challenge. I was always in a hurry. I would forget, open my car door and bounce out of the car before he would have time to get around to my side. After awhile I got pretty good at jumping back in the car and closing the door before he caught me. He’d open my car door and I’d be panting from the jump back in. When he asked why I was breathing so hard I would say “You know you take my breath away.” Pretty slick, huh?

At a candlelit table at Trader Vic’s in Dallas, Texas, he ordered hors d’oeuvre, an entree, and dessert. My first experience at fine dining, and what did I know about the courses of a meal. The hors d’oeuvre came on a huge plate, enough food for 40 people, and I thought it was our dinner. I cleaned the platter and was stuffed when the waiter asked if we were ready for our main course. It took two good size men to carry the main course to the table. I said in as low of whisper as possible “I thought what we just ate was our dinner. What’s all of this?”
“That was just the appetizers,” he answered with a puzzled look on his face.
It took three doggy bags to hold my main course, but I sure wasn’t going to waste all that food and money.

Bringing an older man home to meet the folks is somewhat of an experience in itself. My mother had grave doubts about our relationship 24 years ago. Today, she and my husband are a team. Especially when it comes to dealing with me.

Do opposites attract? You bet. He likes Hank Williams, I love the Beatle’s, he’s a morning person, I don’t even start thinking until 8:00 at night, I love people, he would rather be alone. He could sleep through a tornado, I hardly ever sleep. So what has kept us together for 24 years?

Well, just like the statistics said, I can honestly attribute our age difference to the success of our marriage. My husband doesn’t feel threatened, is never restless in our marriage because he sowed his wild oats years before he met me, he is forever encouraging, and most of all treats me with respect. I think most of these things come from a more mature man.

My advice to women of any age who are looking for a mate, start looking for someone about 10 years or more your senior, especially if it is your second time around.

What happens when you’re 53 and he’s 67? It’s his turn to stand in the drive-way and kiss you good-bye each morning, and have the home fires burning when you return at night. Ladies. . .it doesn’t get much better than this.