Every Friday night my mother says to me, "Now honey, can't you just slow down and rest for one day this weekend?" This coming from my 80+ year old mother who for the past six years has spent eight hours a day and sometimes more, seven days a week, at the nursing home caring for my dad. When my dad naps she goes to the grocery store, the laundromat, or runs home to vacuum the house.
But, to answer her question, no I can't. If my mind is resting my body is going and if my body is resting my mind is going.
I pretty much fit the mold for a Type A personality. So, I have a pretty hard time thinking about slowing down in my life. While some of my same age friends are counting the days until they can get out of the rat race, I live in fear that I won't accomplish all I want to in life or if I shut my eyes for longer than four hours a night I might miss something really important.
Of course, I know I am not the one who controls how much longer I have on this earth, but I am kind of living each day on fast forward, hoping to get it all in. If I thought I didn't make a difference in someone's life each day, I would consider my day wasted.
Most of the time I only function in two modes, constant motion and crash. This doesn't mean that I don't get tired or complain when I am running on tilt, but I am loving every minute of it. My family and friends know to just shut my whining out, because I'll get over it.
There are a few Type A traits that I don't have, for sure, like above average mental and physical alertness, and I don't think I am ever hostile but I have a terrible quick temper. I like to throw things when I get mad.
At any rate, I have a hard time understanding why other people want to slow down, I want to keep on keeping on. I write about this now, because in a few weeks I will be 63 years old, and already people ask me how much longer I'm going to work. Right now, the answer is, for as long as I can . . . and then I'll think of something else to do.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Why would anyone want to slow down?
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