Someday family Memorial Day tradition will come to an end

Not to dwell on morbidity, but with every Memorial Day I wonder who will carry on my grandmother's tradition of decorating the family graves.

As long as I can remember the annual trip to the cemetery on Memorial Day weekend was a big deal to Ma. My dad and I took my grandmother and her aunts every year until I was old enough to drive and then the duty was passed on to me. I can't tell you how thrilled I was as a teenager to drive three little ancient ladies to the cemetery with a trunk full of flowers. My dad actually bribed me with a tank of gas.

When my grandmother passed on it was my mom and I who made the pilgrimage dragging along my kids. By that time my mom had lost her mother and so we picked up another cemetery to visit.

I moved away for several years and during that time my folks took care of things until I returned and once again I relieved my dad and my mom and I picked up where we had left off and continued on with my younger son in tow until he outgrew the ritual. How many times did I say "If you'll be good we'll go to McDonald's when we finish."

So, is this the right attitude to honor the folks we have loved and lost? I admit that I make the trip more because I think my grandmother would want me to, and not so much because I want to. But I know I would feel guilty if I didn't and once we leave the cemeteries I feel pretty much at peace, I'm not quite sure why.

My dad had a stroke five years ago which knocked my mom out of participating so now my husband has taken her place on the annual trip. This year we walked in 90 degree heat for 30 minutes, my husband took one side of the road and I took the other, trying to locate where my aunt and uncle were buried. I have directions and marker numbers written down but every year the cemeteries change so much because of course they are filling up.

For as long as I can, I won't let me grandmother down. But after I am out of the picture, (note here that I hope to live to be 100) because my kids all live in other states, I know our Memorial Day tradition will come to an end.

When that time comes, I think Ma will understand.