Why would anyone want to slow down?

Every Friday night my mother says to me, "Now honey, can't you just slow down and rest for one day this weekend?" This coming from my 80+ year old mother who for the past six years has spent eight hours a day and sometimes more, seven days a week, at the nursing home caring for my dad. When my dad naps she goes to the grocery store, the laundromat, or runs home to vacuum the house.

But, to answer her question, no I can't. If my mind is resting my body is going and if my body is resting my mind is going.

I pretty much fit the mold for a Type A personality. So, I have a pretty hard time thinking about slowing down in my life. While some of my same age friends are counting the days until they can get out of the rat race, I live in fear that I won't accomplish all I want to in life or if I shut my eyes for longer than four hours a night I might miss something really important.

Of course, I know I am not the one who controls how much longer I have on this earth, but I am kind of living each day on fast forward, hoping to get it all in. If I thought I didn't make a difference in someone's life each day, I would consider my day wasted.

Most of the time I only function in two modes, constant motion and crash. This doesn't mean that I don't get tired or complain when I am running on tilt, but I am loving every minute of it. My family and friends know to just shut my whining out, because I'll get over it.

There are a few Type A traits that I don't have, for sure, like above average mental and physical alertness, and I don't think I am ever hostile but I have a terrible quick temper. I like to throw things when I get mad.

At any rate, I have a hard time understanding why other people want to slow down, I want to keep on keeping on. I write about this now, because in a few weeks I will be 63 years old, and already people ask me how much longer I'm going to work. Right now, the answer is, for as long as I can . . . and then I'll think of something else to do.

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Sunday morning

I haven't posted for a couple of weeks. Life has been a little hectic. Fall classes started at the university where I work and our enrollment is up over 100 students from where we were this time last fall, so we all have felt a few growing pains the past two weeks, but good pains at that.

The days are getting shorter. Last week when I left early for the office I found it was still dark outside. The plus to that is driving into the city as the sun comes up. I always feel so inspired when I see the horizon with all it's indescribable colors. In the fall, by the time I reach our campus, I have usually spotted a couple of hotair balloons floating against those colors and it's a picture that a camera could never truly catch and one that only a city girl can truly appreciate.

I am the proud owner of a new laptop since I last posted. This morning I am sitting on my deck watching the rabbits run through the grass, the squirrels run across the phone wires, and the cows grazing in a nearby pasture. Aside from a slight breeze, you could hear a pin drop, it is so quiet.

We live on a dead end road on the very edge of our small town (population around 1200) on a hill that we share with only three other families, one of those being my parents. We have about three acres with a lot of beautiful old trees, a creek that you have to cross to get to our house, and everything from the above mentioned animals to wild turkeys that visit us in our front yard from time to time. As much as I love the city, and as run down as I feel our house is getting, I wouldn't trade our place for any choice property anywhere else. We have lived on this hill for almost 34 years.

From this vantage point I watched my youngest son ride down the road on his first tricycle, then first bicycle, and finally back out of the drive-way in his car the day he left for college. It is from this same spot that I now watch my son's children play when they visit. That gives me such a warm feeling, probably a feeling that only a mother and grandmother can appreciate.

Nothing much has changed on this hill in all these years except for the change of neighbors and the trees are taller . . . well, and I might be a few years older. It's still a special place to be, and I am surely enjoying it this Sunday morning.

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Lunch with the cousins

My family is small. Everyone on my dad's side is gone or estranged from the immediate family, and there aren't many relatives left on my mom's side. Not too long ago my mom lost both her sister and brother in just a matter of a few months.

In the beginning there were six of us cousins. Four from my Aunt Dot, Linda, Debbie, Bill, and Ted, and one, Jerry, from my Uncle Elmer. For the past twenty years the only time we have been together is either at a wedding or a funeral.

We lost Linda to cancer several years ago. Linda and I were the closest in age and the closest period for many years. We married brothers years ago right out of high school (our first marriages) so our lives were pretty involved since we had the same in-laws, etc. We left Missouri with our husbands and moved to Washington State, and it was nice that we always had each other, being cousins and sister-in-laws. Linda was also close to my first three children. After the divorces from the brothers we kind of lost track of each other, and never regained the closeness we once had. We actually had been through a lot together, kind of helped each other grow up a little along the way. I am thankful that I at least had the chance to visit with her a couple of times before she passed away. Linda was also the center of her brothers and sister and her passing left a terrible empty place for all of them.

I am an only child, so without any siblings family get togethers are pretty slim pickings. This morning my cousin Ted e-mailed me and said that he, Bill, and Debbie were meeting for lunch and asked me to join them if I could get away. We only had a little over an hour but we had such a great time talking about our folks, our kids (my two oldest are the same age as Bill and Ted and they used to play together when they were little). Today, I learned that Debbie's son is moving to Kansas not far from where my youngest son and his family live, it's such a small world. I had a great time (I certainly enjoyed being in the presence of three other Democrats!) and I hope we can do this again, Maybe Jerry can join us next time.

So, thanks cuzes for thinking me!

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A word or two on praying, our mission as Christians, and a little personal background

I think the Lord gives every Christian a mission. I'm not real good at witnessing and telling people how they can be saved. This comes in part because I believe each time a person tried to witness to me in earlier years it just drove me further away from God and the church. But I feel I am good at being a prayer warrior and I think that praying for people is the mission the Lord has assigned to me.

I have kept a lengthy, active, daily prayer list for years. Including my church prayer list I pray for 150 to 200 people a day. Even when I was not really saved, I prayed on a regular basis for my family (especially my children) and friends and peace and for those who were in need. Some will disagree, but I know the Lord heard and answered my prayers for others many times. He did not punish me for not being a Christian at the time, and my prayers were answered.

I grew up attending many different churches and continued with that pattern through most of my early adult life. I can remember asking Jesus to come into my heart during several Vacation Bible Schools (each of a different faith) when I was very young. I almost converted to Catholicism during my teen years, much to my (Episcopalian) grandmother's horror at the time.

What brought me to the Southern Baptist was a neighbor and good friend, Mrs. Alexander. Mrs. Alexander encouraged me to send my youngest son to church with her each Sunday when he was still so small his little short legs couldn't make the steps on the church bus. I would lift him on and someone would help get him off when the bus brought Mrs. A and Glove back home.

Whenever there was a special program at church I would attend with them, and then I started volunteering each summer to help with Vacation Bible School and from there I began building a true relationship with the Lord and with a group of friends that would become and still remain like family. I nearly drowned the preacher when I was baptized, but it was of course a blessed day in my life.

After becoming a Christian I struggled a little with my prayer life. Mostly because I tried to pray the "right" way. One day during a Sunday School lesson I shared this with the (then) preacher's wife. She shared that she believed we all can pray in a different manner. There doesn't have to be a right or wrong way to pray if it is sincere (although scripture will guide us on how to pray). She said that she herself prayed for different things and different people on different days of the week, but on a regular basis. This inspired me to go back to my old way of praying for everyone by name on a daily basis. It immediately felt right to me.

A few months back I ran across a blog that I can't find now. I just remember that when I read the post I was angry at the blogger because he in essence was saying that people who pray like I pray are not praying at all that it's just a bunch of words and names with no meaning. In other words it's not the right way to pray. So maybe that blogger's mission is to make us stop and think about the way we pray.

I know the Lord leads me in my praying. That's all I need to know about prayer for now.

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War, no one wins, everyone loses

So, here we are watching the Middle East come to what many have predicted and most have feared for so long. I wish I were articulate enough to write about what is happening, but I'm not. I can only write about what I feel in my heart.

Setting who and what is right aside, as I watched the news coverage today and read on CNN's website the personal e-mails from those affected directly from the crisis both here in the United States and those who are right in the middle of the attacks, I know that regardless of how this crisis ends there will be no winners, only losers.

I watched as people fled Lebanon into Syria with only the belongings they could carry, leaving everything else behind, to get their families to safety. Children carrying bundles that were bigger than they were.

In the middle of all of this a short news take on the G8 leaders and a shot of them all standing together for photographers . . . smiling.

I have no answers . . . only questions.

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I just discovered Steinbeck

I have several rather detailed posts about the books I have read and what books interest me (mostly anything between a front and back cover) but this week I discovered an author I hadn't read before and now I think I will have to go through all his books.

I picked up a used copy of John Steinbeck's Cannery Row and I just fell in love with the characters and their era and especially how they handled the poverty that they lived in. I can't imagine how I have missed Steinbeck in all my reading but the Pulitzer and Nobel Prize author writes in a simple form and everything (at least in Cannery Row) is character driven.

I am now halfway through another of Steinbeck's books, Tortilla Flat. Both of these books are such fast reads, but very entertaining for literature.

Of course Steinbeck is best known for The Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and Men and East of Eden. I believe movies were made of all of those and I probably started watching The Grapes of Wrath a dozen times over the years and it was just to depressing to sit through. Don't ask me to explain how I can read about the depression and hang on every word but can't bare to watch a movie about it. Sometimes I am a complicated person.

Anyway, I'm on to Steinbeck now, so I will move through his books for awhile. If they are all as good as the first two I have tackled, I am going to love my new discovery.

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Working out of my comfort zone

I wish I had time to decide if I am getting slower or the days are getting faster. Whatever the problem, I keep running out of day.

I haven't blogged for a week. It seems each night there is something else that takes priority or maybe I should say I allow something else to take priority. After staying up until 2:00 a.m. Friday and Saturday I just hit bottom last night and crashed about 8:30 which wasn't very productive.

I have been struggling with a simple little report that I volunteered to put together. All the work was already done, all I had to do was pull it all into a document, but I had to use WORD. I hate WORD! I am an old PageMaker person and WordPerfect is my choice for reports or documents. The process was a challenge and with the help of my friend Carole (at least I hope she is still my friend) I learned some new things about WORD.

I am one of those people who must constantly have a challenge or I fear I might turn into a vegetable. When I am in the middle of a project that stresses me I swear up and down I will never get myself into another mess like it and then turn right around and do the same thing all over again.

I have to work outside of my comfort zone or I don't feel like I am growing or contributing. It has nothing to do with proving to someone else that I can do something and everything to do with proving to myself that I can do, whatever.

It's nice to have friends that kind of understand that and bail you out in a pinch.

Thanks Carole for the help!!

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The power of Hillary, thanks James!

James Carville is already on duty! Check out the Washington Post article by Carville The Power of Hillary . . . if you dare.

Oh boy, I am getting excited already! It is going to be a heck of a road to the 2008 White House and I can't wait!

I can tell you this, Kerry better give it up. I would be thrilled with either Hillary or Edwards, but I won't go the Kerry way again. When I voted for Kerry in 04 it was the first time I ever voted for a candidate on a party basis. I was so disgusted with the republicans and George Bush. I have actually voted for as many republicans in my voting life as I have democrats, because I am one of those who in the past voted for the person and not the party. That all changed in 2004. I am not sure I could go back to a non-partisan outlook, probably not, although, if Rudy Giuliani would run on the republican ticket I would keep an open mind.

Giuliani would make a few right wingers squirm. I know Edwards is pretty soft, but after seeing and listening to him in person during the 2004 campaign he is what he says he is a total for the people person. Hillary? I don't know why the woman would want to put herself through all of it, but I believe she is the most global of the three. Other countries and their leaders respect Hillary Clinton more than the US does.

Anyway, it's going to be a great race. The best part is, regardless of who wins, we won't have four more years of George Bush.

Thanks James Carville for the Power of Hillary. I am gearing up!!

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God Bless America

We had a great patriotic service at church Sunday morning. Everything was decorated in red, white, and blue. The older kids marched in carrying the flag with the pre-schoolers in tow behind waving little hand flags. Our choir sang a medley of patriotic favorites and we all joined in. It really was quite moving.

I looked at those little children and wondered what the world would be like for them twenty years from now. It was a serious thought at the moment and one that made me cry. I imagine others were harboring thoughts of their own and maybe a few tears sprung forth, none of us knowing what had moved the other.

It's odd (maybe not the right word) how we can be so sad and at the same time be so joyous, and we were joyous. Joyous that we could worship our Lord and celebrate our nation under the same roof without any threats. We were joyous that our little children were dressed well, looked like they had been fed well, and were in a safe, loving environment. We were joyous to know that our prayers for our nation will not go unanswered.

God will continue to bless America in His way and in His time. But we must never stop asking Him to do so.

God, bless America . . . please.

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My pink piggy slippers are missing!

Have you ever misplaced something in your house and you know it's got to be there somewhere, but you just can't find it? Well, my pink piggy slippers are missing. The ones that go oink when you pinch their head. I need my piggy slippers!

My piggies are to me what Linus' security blanket is to him. When I am stressed and need to chill out I have to have those slippers on.

Mind you, we live in a small six room house with two closets. How can you misplace a pair of slippers, each one the size of a shoebox?

I don't have a clue what happened to them. I'd hate to think that someone broke into our home undetected and ripped off my pink piggies and left everything else in tact, but you never know, anymore.

Let's hope I find those suckers soon or I may be in a bad mood.

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Ninety percent of getting organized is getting motivated

My friend Nancy and I have discovered time management guru Jeffrey J. Mayer. Well actually, Nancy discovered Mayer in a thrift store and shared him with me. Nancy paid twenty-five cents for the book she found and I have already spent twenty-five dollars on gas trying to chase down the rest of his (out of print) books. Of course I could order copies online, but I have to have the books right now (see previous posts for my obsession with books).

After three used book stores and two chains I gave up and resorted to the library, and you should know I am desperate for a book when I use the library, because it doesn't involve spending money. That's not exactly true this time, though. Before I could check the Mayer book out I had to pay a $1 fine I had from 2003. Anyway, we are hooked on Jeffrey.

I should be ashamed of myself for confessing the state of my personal and work life because I teach a get organized class If you don't use it, lose it at the local community college. But the state of my everyday affairs are driving me nuts and I'm not sure when I lost control. Somehow, I fell off the declutter wagon and never felt the fall. I have been carrying a plastic bag full of mail and bills to work and back everyday for weeks thinking I will work on them at lunch, only to carry them back home each night untouched because, well, I didn't have time.

In less than thirty minutes after I read the first two chapters of Mayer's If you haven't got the time to do it right, when will you find the time to do it over I tore through my office and my file cabinets in the workroom like a tornado. In less than two hours I had almost filled a 50 gallon tub for the commercial shredder. The following day I cleaned and deleted over 300 files off of my computer (mostly photos) I had stored for PR that I hadn't touched in months. I love to exaggerate, but I tell you the truth here. I can't tell you how liberating all of this was. I opened my office door on the second day and felt air, there was room to breathe not only in my office, but in my mind.

Here's what Mayer said directly to me in his book. You don't have to keep every single piece of paper and file in case someone asks for or needs it later. It's okay to say "I'm sorry I don't have that," especially when it isn't my job to have it. Whew, what a load off that was!

I am a list maker. I encourage list making. But Mayer has a different approach to using lists to stay focused. He uses a master list and it is ongoing. I made a master list for the office and a master list for my personal life. Suddenly, little projects that have been weighing on me day and night seemed like a breeze to complete. Friday, after reading the chapter on procrastination, I took care of a bit of personal business in 30 minutes that I had put off for three months.

But you know something? Mayer didn't say all that much that I didn't already know, really. I just needed motivated and his book did the trick. I have books by Julie Morganstein, The Slob Sisters, I have used all of these as helps when I teach decluttering. One thing I emphasize in my class is you can know all the tricks of the trade to get organized but if you don't get motivated and stay that way your life and mind are always going to be cluttered.

Well, for whatever reason I'm back on track now. I’m motivated and I’m getting organized again.

Thanks Jeffrey J. Mayer . . . and move over!

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Coming full circle

I always wanted to be a writer. My mother kept some of my essays from elementary school and even then I had, shall we say, a creative imagination. If the teachers' comments meant anything, I also had a knack for writing. My spelling was gawd awful and my grammar wasn't much better, but even when I was nine years old I could tell a story.

In the mid 70s I began writing a country music column for our small hometown newspaper. Back then, Branson was just a blip on the map and Springfield housed some pretty good size country music theaters. I wrote my column without pay, but it got us into a lot of country music shows free.

Thanks to the local DJs, I had the privilege of interviewing a few semi-famous entertainers, Boxcar Willie when he was part of Hee Haw, Carl and Pearl Butler from the Grand Ole Opry, when they were performing at the Shrine Mosque, and many of the Ozark Country Jubilee crew. That was a long time ago. My mother also kept those columns (which I fully appreciate now) and when I read Lee's Country Likin's I cringe at how corny they were. Dal Mason, editor/publisher of our paper, opened the door for me and I will never forget his kindness and mentoring.

In 1976 I sold my first piece to the Springfield News-Leader (a Gannett publication) and I thought I had arrived. Twenty dollars . . . and the story TV and the two year old ran on the inside cover of their weekly TV magazine. One of the paper's artists complimented my story with a great cartoon. I thought I had died and gone to heaven, I was so proud.

Shortly after that I had about a twenty-year case of writer's block and I just shut down completely. Then in the early 90s I began writing PR releases in my job, and I met Laura Scott, editor and owner of Springfield's Today's Woman. Laura and I hit it off right from the start. I did a couple of features for her and then the gal that had been writing a column for TW went to work for the News-Leader and Laura allowed me to fill that slot with a new column Fiftysomething (back then I was fiftysomething). Laura and TW gave me a great outlet for my writing. I joined the Springfield Writer's Guild (past president) and then the Missouri Writers' Guild and through the guilds I was fortunate to receive many awards for my columns.

Several years later Laura sold the magazine to KGBX and stayed on as managing editor. Then Clear Channel Communications bought KGBX. CCC was not in the magazine business, although they kept the mag for a couple of years before letting it go. So, after nine years of writing a monthly column, I was out of a writing job, and back to writing PR for my day job.

In case you are wondering where the coming full circle comes in, here's the kicker.

Dal Mason passed away many years ago and his paper, the oldest in Greene County, saw a couple of owners come and go. In April of this year Laura Scott bought the Commonwealth and the Cross Country Times (a neighboring city's weekly). To say it is a small world would be an understatement, but it didn't take long for Laura and I to connect again, and I am back with a monthly column Leezy's Slice of Life in both papers.

Basically, I am right back where I started over thirty years ago (hopefully not as corny). But, it's nice to be here, and it's great to be doing a column again.

This post was mostly to say thank you to Laura. I'm looking forward to another nine years (or maybe longer), and I hope Laura is too.

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What is a liberal anyway?

My son over at accordingtothisjim has a great link on his today's (Friday, June 16) post.

The link is to a survey that will tell you where you are on the political map. Of course we are not surprised that I came out a Liberal, however, I scored a little closer to the centrist than I would have guessed.

This is a great website with simple definitions of political preferences.

I loved the following quote under Defining Liberalism on theadvocates.org. This so describes the way I think, feel and believe. From John Kennedy:

Liberalism is not so much a party creed or set of fixed platform promises as it is an attitude of mind and heart, a faith in man's ability through the experiences of his reason and judgment to increase for himself and his fellow men the amount of justice and freedom and brotherhood which all human life deserves. -- Sen. John F. Kennedy, September 14, 1960

Of course, I am still pondering what it means that I didn't score further left than I did. And my conservative son came out a Libertarian according to the survey.

Maybe we are not as extreme opposite as we think politically? Nah . . . not a chance.
:]

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May-December marriage good investment

I was cleaning out the files on my office computer today and came across one of my old columns from when I wrote for our local Today's Woman Magazine. This is from about ten years ago. I am now 62 and my husband is 77, I was in my early 50s and he hadn't been retired all that long when it was published. Thought I would share it as a post.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the greater the age split between husband and wife, the longer the relationship lasts. Several years ago the center conducted a 28 state study of 134,000 couples and found there was a significant drop in the divorce rate when husbands were at least 10 or more years older than their wives.

They’re called May-December marriages. I consider myself an expert on the subject since my husband and I just celebrated our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary and he is almost 15 years my senior. Just like in the movies, it’s true that the older man is a catch for any girl. However, if you have not been exposed to a mature man, it takes a little getting used to.


At 27 years of age I had never had a man assist me down the stairs, open a car door for me or order my dinner at a swanky restaurant. Actually, the closest I had come to fine dining was eating inside at McDonald’s instead of going through the drive-thru window.

The first time my husband took my arm to help me down the stairs, I jerked away and said “For crying out loud-I can walk down the steps by myself!” There was a mixed expression on his face, one that was a toss up as to whether to be hurt, or to push me the rest of the way down the stairs.

Remembering to sit still until he walked around and opened the car door for me was a real challenge. I was always in a hurry. I would forget, open my car door and bounce out of the car before he would have time to get around to my side. After awhile I got pretty good at jumping back in the car and closing the door before he caught me. He’d open my car door and I’d be panting from the jump back in. When he asked why I was breathing so hard I would say “You know you take my breath away.” Pretty slick, huh?

At a candlelit table at Trader Vic’s in Dallas, Texas, he ordered hors d’oeuvre, an entree, and dessert. My first experience at fine dining, and what did I know about the courses of a meal. The hors d’oeuvre came on a huge plate, enough food for 40 people, and I thought it was our dinner. I cleaned the platter and was stuffed when the waiter asked if we were ready for our main course. It took two good size men to carry the main course to the table. I said in as low of whisper as possible “I thought what we just ate was our dinner. What’s all of this?”
“That was just the appetizers,” he answered with a puzzled look on his face.
It took three doggy bags to hold my main course, but I sure wasn’t going to waste all that food and money.

Bringing an older man home to meet the folks is somewhat of an experience in itself. My mother had grave doubts about our relationship 24 years ago. Today, she and my husband are a team. Especially when it comes to dealing with me.

Do opposites attract? You bet. He likes Hank Williams, I love the Beatle’s, he’s a morning person, I don’t even start thinking until 8:00 at night, I love people, he would rather be alone. He could sleep through a tornado, I hardly ever sleep. So what has kept us together for 24 years?

Well, just like the statistics said, I can honestly attribute our age difference to the success of our marriage. My husband doesn’t feel threatened, is never restless in our marriage because he sowed his wild oats years before he met me, he is forever encouraging, and most of all treats me with respect. I think most of these things come from a more mature man.

My advice to women of any age who are looking for a mate, start looking for someone about 10 years or more your senior, especially if it is your second time around.

What happens when you’re 53 and he’s 67? It’s his turn to stand in the drive-way and kiss you good-bye each morning, and have the home fires burning when you return at night. Ladies. . .it doesn’t get much better than this.

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Want to get to know your grandkids? Visit MySpace.com

A few Sundays ago while checking out my grandson Aaron's blog I found his post about myspace.com. I have to admit I freaked out when I first saw the post and thought ohmygosh I can't believe this kid is allowed to use MySpace. A lot of bad hype about MySpace, enough to scare someone my age for sure, but after reading Aaron's post I decided to check his MySpace out.


Although I haven't yet gathered enough nerve to actually sign up, I have had a field day (at what I can access without signing up) reading about three of my grandkids and one grandkid-in-law to be) all of whom have the coolest MySpaces with terrific photos and music and the whole nine yards. I now know what they like to read and do, what kind of music and movies they like and who some of their friends are. Their spaces are so creative!

My oldest son ("the" dad of these kids) told me he logs on to MySpace on a regular basis just to check and make sure everything is kosher, which is the point Aaron made on his blog about parents monitoring the site.

I have to be honest, it is still a little scary for me to grasp all this, because everything I learned about the kids, I know anyone can learn about them, but as Aaron pointed out you can find evil anywhere you go on the Internet these days (my words not his).

It was just a lot of fun to read through the kids' MySpace spaces and get to know them better. I really loved all the photos of the kids and their friends.

So, if you are a grandparent and your grandkids are on MySpace and you haven't visited their space, I encourage you do so. You will learn some pretty cool stuff.

Just a sidebar here. I also learned why some of the kids spell the way they do. I actually thought Aaron had a problem with spelling when I read his blog on blogger but after visiting MySpace I know that is their lingo (for lack of a better word) like some people use for IMs. That made me feel a lot better, too!!! :]

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Missing the ocean and Daddy

I was born and raised in the East Bay Area of California. I grew up by the Pacific Ocean where sand and seagulls were an everyday sight. I've been fortunate to have traveled the United States and visited some beautiful country within our borders, but there is nothing that beats an ocean view, the sound, the smell, it's just something that you can't explain unless you have experienced it personally. My husband who is an old navy man rolls his eyes every time I say I miss the ocean desperately, but I do miss it and I dream about the ocean a lot.

I hear the California beaches are not what they used to be and that was clean, still uninhibited in some places, where you could actually find a cove somewhere and just sit and watch the waves.

When I was ten or eleven my dad bought a surplus life boat and turned it into a homemade inboard, right in our drive-way. It took Daddy about a year to complete the project. The neighbors had a field day teasing my dad, but the day we pulled that sucker out of the drive-way they were all standing there supportive and watching like it was the launch of the Queen Mary. I remember how excited I was as we headed for the water.

After my dad had proved to my mother that the boat would indeed float, she allowed me to board and waited at the launch while my dad and I took off far out into the bay. We made it almost to under the Bay Bridge with other larger boats passing and waving to us (probably laughing at us because this boat was a sight). As big as the boat was in our drive-way it was a small craft compared to the boat and ship traffic coming in and out of the estuary and the swells were getting stronger so we had to turn back before actually passing under the bridge.

Of course that was over fifty years ago, no regulations to stop us from such an adventure. It wouldn't be possible today.

My dad had a massive stroke several years ago. He has been in a health care facility since the stroke and although he has come a long way in communicating and understanding some things, he never regained his speech.

I bring this up now because with Father's Day fast approaching I wish I could talk to my dad about that boat trip and tell him how much fun it was and how it still stays with me. I'd like to thank him for the long Sunday drives across the San Mateo Bridge to Half Moon Bay (long before it became a niche for tourist) for a nineteen cent hamburger and a walk on the beach where I would hunt for shells as my folks watched me from the car. I am so thankful that I have such good memories of those times, because I miss the ocean and I miss my dad.

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A book is a window to the world Part 4

Part 4

What's my fixation with journalists? I dunno. I am married to a man that loathes the media . . . media as in reporters. But I have a great admiration for those reporters (mostly from the old school who are fading fast) that have brought us the world, good, bad, or otherwise and especially for those who broke new ground like Jessica Savitch, NBC's first woman anchor.

Here's my short list of favorites, bios, autobios, and miscellaneous. Not in any order (except for the first book listed):

Bios, Etc.
A Good Life, Ben Bradlee (my favorite, I'm partial to the Washington Post anyway)
Golden Girl, Alanna Nash
Reporting Live, Leslie Stahl
And So It Goes, Linda Ellerbee
The Camera Never Blinks Twice, Dan Rather
Exposing Myself, Geraldo Rivera
Off Camera, Ted Koppel
A Reporter's Life, Walter Cronkite (a couple of years ago I went to "A Conversation with Walter Cronkite" when he visited the performing arts center nearby. In his 80s then, he still was as sharp as a tack and the house was packed)
Nothing But The Good Times, Molly Ivins (my favorite political columnist)
The No Spin Zone, Bill O'Reilly (I know, I lost my mind for a minute when I bought this book. I guess I got caught up in the spin)

Odds and Ends
I love columnists and their books. My shelves are sprinkled with:
Erma Bombeck
Art Buchwald
Andy Rooney
Dave Berry

Just to finish up this series of posts I couldn't leave out my love for plain old bios of any kind. I have many books on the Kennedy's, the Onassis family, the Royals, Elvis, and John Lennon, Best: Lennon Revealed, Larry Kane and Loving John: The Untold Story, May Pang

I have enjoyed working on this blog about what I like to read. While scanning my bookcases I have dusted a few books off and had a good time just going through some that I haven't read for years. One night I decided to count the books (I know I need a life!) just to see how many there were . . . 638. That's a lot of dust collecting. I also decided to sort some of the older paperbacks out and pass them along to the local nursing home.

I'm currently reading Blink, by Malcomb Gladwell. I'll let you know more about it later.

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A book is a window to the world Part 3

Part 3

Along with having a Borders and Barnes and Noble close by we are fortunate to have several used bookstores in the area. I'm not too sure how good that is for my pocketbook, but my friend Nancy and I love to spend time browsing in the used bookstores. I've come up with some pretty good books by accident. And I don't want to forget the good old dollar stores because they are a great place to find out of print books.

I love to read about other cultures and ethnic groups. Amy Tan is one of my favorite authors. I was introduced to her writing in an Ethnics and Minority sociology class I took several years ago. The instructor required us to watch the Joy Luck Club, and I read the book shortly thereafter. I was hooked. Since that time she has written many books. Best: The Bonesetter's Daughter.

Before I go on to a list I want to mention Jimmy Buffett, of all people. I love his writing style and his characters. I have all his books. Best: A Pirate Looks at Fifty. Island hopping with Buffett when I was in my fifties through his book was great.

Well here we go . . . odds and ends, fiction, non-fiction and some never heard ofs and again not in any order:

More Odds and Ends
Jimmy Breslin's The Sweet Short Dream of Eduardo Gutierrez. Now would be a good time to read this book with the immigration situation as it is.
Dead Opposite, Geoffrey Douglas
Until Death Do Us Part, Ingrid Betancourt
The Ashes of Waco, Dick J. Reaves
Above the Clouds: A Reunion of Father and Son, Jonathan Bach (this is the son of Richard Bach who wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull the 70s book that everyone had to read.
Calm at Sunset, Calm at Dawn, Paul Walkins
Shadow Song, Terry Kay
The Beach Club, Erin Hilderbrand
Beach Combing in Miramar, Richard Bode
All of Robert James Waller's books, read them all, have them all.
Bridges of Madison County, Old Songs in a New Cafe, Border Music, Best: Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend
Are You Somebody? The Accidental Memoir of a Dublin Woman, Nuala O'Faolain
Snow Falling on Cedars, David Guterson (the movie was a disappointment after the book)
Most of James Patterson's books, especially the Alex Cross series, but Patterson's Sam's Letters to Jennifer was a great read.
I have read and have most all of John Grisham's earlier books, but nothing recent. After he switched genres to write A Painted House I discovered Patterson and never went back to Grisham.
As far as romance authors go Jayne Ann Krentz is at the top of my list. I loved her Eclipse Bay trilogy.
Noah benShea's Jacob's Journey and Jacob the Baker

Enough for now. Still to come the journalists and media reads.

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Illegal voting/balloting 101

Right Wing readers check out the June 3 post on accordingtothisjim

Left Wingers want equal time? Check out Fred.net

If there is a liberal out there that hasn't visited Fred.net have fun.

Here's what I think. This is cynical, to say the least. Regardless of illegal votes or rigged machines we probably never have had an honest election and we probably never will.

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A book is a window to the world Part 2

Part 2

I am having a terrible time trying to limit the books I want to list. Not that anyone cares, but I don't want to leave out any really good reads (in my opinion that is).

I'll cut right to the chase and go with my favorite political books, most are bios auto or otherwise. I thought about how to sort these so here's what I decided on . . . Pro Clinton/Anti Bush. Please note that not all my Clinton books are positive in Clinton's favor, but hey, most are, because I don't like to read anything not true about him. :]

Pro Clinton
My Life, Bill Clinton
Living History, Hillary Rodham Clinton
Bill Clinton An American Journey, Nigel Hamilton
The Clinton Wars, Sidney Blumenthal
Partners in Power, Roger Morris
The Natural, Joe Klein (I think this was written objectively)
A Vast Conspiracy, Jeffrey Toobin (I don't care for Toobin on the talk shows but he writes a good book)
Stickin' The Case for Loyalty, James Carville
Boy Clinton The Political Biography, R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.
The Agenda Inside the Clinton Whitehouse, Bob Woodward (I have read and own all Woodward's books, I can't say that he was very objective in this one)
First in His Class, David Maraniss (this was one of the first Clinton Books I read back in the mid 90s)
All Too Human, George Stephanopoulos (I loved this book! George was devoted to Bill Clinton until he just couldn't take anymore or the others ousted him whichever way you want to look at it. He was a great advisor and friend and I believe responsible for Clinton's earlier successes. A very candid look at the Clinton/Stephanopoulos relationship.)

Anti Bush
Bushwacked, Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose (love Molly Ivins, she is my favorite columnist)
Bushworld, Maureen Dowd
The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty, Kitty Kelley
The Bush Betrayal, James Bovard (this was on sale at Barnes and Noble. I haven't finished it yet)
Plan of Attack, Bob Woodward (good)

Odds and Ends
Diane Feinstein, Never Let Them See You Cry, Jerry Roberts
Friends in High Places, Web Hubbell (loved this one!)
Blinded By The Right: A Conscience of an Ex-Conservative, David Brock (interesting stuff on the American Spectator and other conservative powers to be)
Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations, Al Franken

There are so many more. I know a conservative reader can match this list with just the opposite in favor of Bush and the right. And that is why we cherish our freedom so much, because we are all entitled to our own political views.

I am sorry to say, and you are probably sorry to hear, that there will be a Part 3 and maybe Part 4 in this (what I now can call a) series on favorite books and authors. I haven't even started on the journalists yet.

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A book is a window to the world Part 1

Note: After I started this post and began to go through my books I decided my list would be to long, so I am breaking this down into a couple of entries.

Part 1

I'm not too sure who said A book is a window to the world besides me. I often give myself credit for quotes that I think are originally mine only to find later that someone else said the same thing first or better.

If you have read my profile you already know that I am an avid reader, and I do mean avid. I can't imagine where I would be right now in my life without my love for reading. I have learned more from reading on my own than I ever learned in a classroom. When I read I do exactly as I do when I write. I block out everything and everyone around me. That's not always a good thing.

I mentioned some of my favorite authors and books in my profile, but I wanted to elaborate more. Although, I tend to lean more toward non-fiction with anything regarding politics or journalists (mostly bios) at the top of my list, I really am versatile in what I read and I also enjoy fiction. The thing is, I don't read only for pleasure. I read to absorb something new. When I start a book I don't nurse it along. I get with the program and don't rest (usually I don't sleep either) until I've finished.

So, kind of like the post where I shared my favorite music, I want to share some of my favorite books. I will say that it is hard to just pick a few of my favorites because there are so many, and some are kind of off the beaten track (sort of like me).

I'll try to break these down into some order and may mention the author first instead of the book. I have a habit of starting on an author and if they're someone I really like to read I pretty much go through everything they have written.

Classics/Literature
Everything by Hemingway (Best: Islands in the Stream and A Movable Feast Hemingway is my favorite author)
J R R Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings (Best: The Fellowship of the Ring)
The Odyssey of Homer A Verse Translation by Allen Mandelbaum

Miscellaneous/Odds and Ends
The Life of Mahatma Gandhi by Fisher (Gandhi remains one of my all time favorite reads)
John Updike's Rabbit series (Best: Rabbit at Rest)
Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes and Teacher Man
A Monk Swimming Malachy McCourt
Maya Angelou (I have all her books but I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is my favorite)
The Rice Room Ben Fong Torres
Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven and Tuesdays with Morrie
Devine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and Little Altars Everywhere Rebecca Wells (these are girlie books)
Hotel New Hampshire John Irving (this is the strangest book I think I have ever read but couldn't put it down)
E.L. Doctrow (Best: Worlds Fair and Lives of the Poets: A Novella and Six Stories
The Prayer of Jabez Bruce H. Wilkinson


Stay tuned for Part 2. A continued list of odds and ends and a list of the best left wing books around and some off the beaten track reads.

Let me just add here that the one most important book that I have read and continue to read is the Holy Bible.

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Someday family Memorial Day tradition will come to an end

Not to dwell on morbidity, but with every Memorial Day I wonder who will carry on my grandmother's tradition of decorating the family graves.

As long as I can remember the annual trip to the cemetery on Memorial Day weekend was a big deal to Ma. My dad and I took my grandmother and her aunts every year until I was old enough to drive and then the duty was passed on to me. I can't tell you how thrilled I was as a teenager to drive three little ancient ladies to the cemetery with a trunk full of flowers. My dad actually bribed me with a tank of gas.

When my grandmother passed on it was my mom and I who made the pilgrimage dragging along my kids. By that time my mom had lost her mother and so we picked up another cemetery to visit.

I moved away for several years and during that time my folks took care of things until I returned and once again I relieved my dad and my mom and I picked up where we had left off and continued on with my younger son in tow until he outgrew the ritual. How many times did I say "If you'll be good we'll go to McDonald's when we finish."

So, is this the right attitude to honor the folks we have loved and lost? I admit that I make the trip more because I think my grandmother would want me to, and not so much because I want to. But I know I would feel guilty if I didn't and once we leave the cemeteries I feel pretty much at peace, I'm not quite sure why.

My dad had a stroke five years ago which knocked my mom out of participating so now my husband has taken her place on the annual trip. This year we walked in 90 degree heat for 30 minutes, my husband took one side of the road and I took the other, trying to locate where my aunt and uncle were buried. I have directions and marker numbers written down but every year the cemeteries change so much because of course they are filling up.

For as long as I can, I won't let me grandmother down. But after I am out of the picture, (note here that I hope to live to be 100) because my kids all live in other states, I know our Memorial Day tradition will come to an end.

When that time comes, I think Ma will understand.

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Martha and the smartest guys in the room

Lay and Skilling are guilty. What a relief. I had my sit-in outfit hanging on the back of the bedroom door just in case.

My interest in this trial was geared more toward worrying if the boys would somehow walk after Martha did her time. I still think Martha Stewart's sentence was unfair and blown out of proportion so that the SEC could make a point. The point they made with me is that you can't be a successful, dynamite, millionaire, woman and get away with what a successful, dynamite, millionaire, man can get away with.

Back to Skilling and Lay, we'll have to wait until September to see how serious the guilty verdict turns out to be with the sentencing, but the media are predicting a pretty harsh outcome. Time will tell.

The whole Enron thing fascinated me from the beginning. I was in line (actually the only one in line) at Borders for The Smartest Guys in the Room when it came out and read it in a weekend. I think the book should be required reading for Finance 101 students. It's much better than any textbook I've ever seen on the subject.

In the early 70s we were caught up in a, how should I say this, creative, company. Later it would be identified as a pyramid sales scheme, and attacked by the SEC. It was one of many pyramid or multi-level marketing plans that came alive during the 70s, only the program we were with was the largest, so the SEC went after the company with loaded guns.

What I remember most about those days is that we flew all over the country, lived on room service and almost never slept. We were dedicated to the company and to those we worked with. I still have a box of cards from people we recruited for the company thanking us and the company for changing their lives. It almost seems like it was a movie of the week instead of real. I guess that's why when Kenneth Lay says he doesn't believe he is guilty, I believe he really believes he's not. That's not to say he isn't guilty, just that he is convinced that he has done nothing wrong.

The point is, things don't always end up the way they start out, and that is for sure what happened to Enron. It will be interesting to see how the sentencing goes.

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I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony

I used to be so naive. Sometimes I wonder what happened to that girl and sometimes I am amazed that I don't own acres of Florida swamp land.

I remember in my late teens and early twenties I actually believed that one day our world would live in peace. I believed it with all my heart.

I wasn't all that well educated then and didn't get bogged down with politics. I was busy taking care of three little kids and just living day by day. By the mid sixties when we were finally committed to Vietnam I had no in-depth knowledge of why we were there. I think my thought then was we would just win the Vietnam war, convert all the communist and live happily ever after. Did I mention that I was naive? I'm glad reality didn't set in all at once. I don't think I could have taken it if someone had said to me "The world will never live in peace, it's impossible."

Part of my awakening came after I met and married my now husband. Being older and wiser by fifteen years, he brought to me a different perspective of many things. He came from a different generation, a different part of the country, had fought in Korea and had been just about everywhere I thought I always wanted to go. The first thing he taught me was to have an opinion of my own, even when later he didn't like it (just a little humor there).

Since we came from different generations and different backgrounds we disagreed on a lot of the things from politics, race and religion to the Beatles and Saturday Night Live. We had some humdingers, that's for sure, and I don't think he would admit that I ever won an argument, but I won, because with each heated discussion I learned a little more about how the world really is. Not always by taking his word for things but by paying attention and finally realizing that we all have a responsibility to take an interest in what really goes on around us.

I thank God that I have continued to grow and care about people and our world. I've been so blessed to be surrounded by friends and family that have encouraged me to broaden my knowledge and mentored me along the way. I've turned into a borderline political junkie. My book shelves are full of political books most of which are liberal based, because I remain a liberal even when the majority of my family and friends are far to the right. They love me anyway.

Of course I now know that if we had no wars, no disease, no caste system, the world would not hold us all. I am no longer naive, but that doesn't mean I have given up hope for what I wish the world could be.

I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills, "Ah, peace throughout the land"
(I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing written by Roger Cook and Roger Greenaway, recorded by The New Seekers)

And that my friends, is why I used to sign my posts with . . .
May love and peace be with you.

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I believe in music

I love music. Music can lift me out of a funk and take me anywhere I want to be. And . . . it has to be loud. Unfortunately, loud music has taken a toll on my hearing long before there were any warnings for the new generation and their iPods. When my world seems to be falling apart, I think I am stressed beyond repair and too tired to lift my foot another step, I just pop in a favorite CD and within minutes I am energized.

Many years ago, when cable came to our house, I'm pretty sure I was the only mom on the block that watched MTV all day instead of the soaps. My youngest son was raised on Elvis and the Beatles, we always had music going in the car or on the stereo and about the third word he said was Cher.

My cousin Ted plays and sings professionally, but other than that my family are what I call closet musicians, they only played and performed for their own enjoyment. My grandfather played the banjo and sang, my dad played the guitar and sang, and my mom did some mean yodeling in her time, waayyyy back in the days when yodeling was the in thing in country music.

My folks gave me every opportunity to develop some kind of musical talent of my own. At one time or another I have probably had lessons on just about every instrument there is (excluding the tuba and harp because they wouldn't fit in a car). The lessons gave me just enough knowledge of music to be dangerous, and after all the lessons, I still play (play meaning a little chording on the guitar or piano) better by ear than any other way.

In the mid seventies we had a little band going Lee and the Hearts of Dixie that played at picnics and grand openings. When people stopped eating at the picnics and the businesses put up going out of business signs the first day . . . we took the hint and called it quits.

I tried to pass the musical baton on to my youngest son who started playing drums when he was in elementary school, then in high school he sold his trap set and switched to guitar. I don't like to take much credit for how well my son turned out, but I think his love of music came from my love of music, or at least I hope so, in part.

I have a favorite quote, A house without books is like a room without windows. I am not sure who the author is, but I could say the same thing about a house without music. Every child should have the opportunity to learn about or listen to music, to share in the joy it brings.

One thing I love about blogging (other than getting away with starting a sentence with and, but or because) is that you can just bore people to death with mundane subjects. So keeping with that thought, I am going to share my favorite songs below. They are not in any special order. If you are interested in any background on the songs follow the links provided.

I have to add for the record that John Lennon is my all time favorite artist and the drums are my favorite instrument so if you are familiar with some of these hits you will know they are heavy on the drums.

Rock
My Sweet Lord, George Harrison
Free as a Bird, Beatles
Come Together, Beatles
(Just Like) Starting Over, John Lennon
She's Got Betty Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes
A Whiter Shade of Pale, Procol Harum
Fools Rush In, Ricky Nelson, Elvis Presley
Me And Mrs. Jones, Billy Paul
Crying Time, Ray Charles
Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett
Lay Lady Lay, Bob Dylan

Country
There Won't Be Anymore, Charlie Rich
Drinking My Baby (Off My Mind), Eddie Rabbitt
Every Which Way But Loose, Eddie Rabbitt
Help Me Make it Through The Night, Sammi Smith
For The Good Times, Ray Price

Inspirational
Original Grace CD, Grace Community Church

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The new AT&T, the saga continues

One morning last week I woke up out of a dead sleep and looked at the clock . . . 6:00. Someone was knocking on our door. It wasn't quite light out so I popped on the porch light and opened the door with the safety chain still on. A county police officer stood in front of me and scared me half to death. He immediately said "This isn't an emergency, but we had a 911 call that your mom's phone is out. I just left her house and she asked me to stop here and let you know."

I think I thanked him, but since I never really function until after 1:00 p.m. I am not sure what I said. I do know I wouldn't recommend being awakened in that manner to anyone with a weak heart.

After I rallied a little I threw some clothes on and went down to check on my mom. She was in the same shape as I was, since my dad is in the nursing home we both had the same thoughts when we saw the officer. What I couldn't figure out at the time was who called 911, so thinking it might be the nursing home trying to reach my mom I made a quick trip down the highway to check on my dad. He was fine.

I had been up exactly 30 minutes when I returned home to make my call to the AT&T repair service. It wasn't a pretty picture I can tell you that (see previous blog for prelude). When the rep told me the phone would be fixed by 7:00 p.m. I lost it. I actually said an eight letter word that isn't in my vocabulary, but I told her I was tired of them screwing with us and I wanted to speak to a supervisor RIGHT NOW!! And, I got a supervisor . . . right now.

I went through the entire last six months of my mom's phone problems with the supervisor. I know my tone of voice showed my anger, and my frustration. The supervisor promised to get the repair tech out before noon.

Living in a small town does have its advantages. I hopped in my car and chased down the repairman at our local sub-station. I confronted him with the "squirrel eating through the wire" theory and told him I didn't believe it. I have to say he was really nice, so I tried to calm down.

I told him "if" it were squirrels causing all the trouble that we can't possibly be the only place in the nation with this problem, there has to be a solution. The repairman admitted there are protective guards (expensive he said) that can be installed, but for the first time he also said it is strange that they only eat on my mother's line. He promised he would call his boss right away and check into a solution.

About 45 minutes later he arrived in his repair truck with great news!!! AT&T is going to replace all the wires on our hill and the main one that crosses the valley to the top of the hill. This . . . he says will surely fix the problem because our set up is old. For right now he was going to put a band aid (my word, not his) on things so my mom would have service.

You bet our wires are old. Nothing has been upgraded in at least 35 years. My friend Nancy hit the nail on the head when she said they let things go on our hill so long because there are only four houses.

When I left for the office I couldn't believe it wasn't even 8:00 yet, I felt like I had been up half a day. I actually ended up coming home early . . . I felt like I had been run over by a semi. A combination of the shock knock and my anger.

Not that I will ever make excuses for the new AT&T, but I asked the repairman how he liked working for them. He said they were good to work for, he actually had started out with AT&T years ago and then got caught in the split and had to stay with Southwestern Bell. He had been working for the phone company for 20 years.

I don't think it was my fit throwing that solved all of this, I think that the repairman just finally stood up to whomever and told them things had to be fixed right. For that I am very appreciative.

Interestingly enough I asked our chief of police how we could find out who made the original 911 call and he said that in some instances when a line is out of order the phone company's computers generate the 911 call and 911 contacts the local police to follow-up. That's kind of nice to know.

I hope this is the last time you see anything on my blog about the new AT&T . . . and I'm thinking you hope so, too.

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Welcome to the new AT&T, an exercise in anger management

My mother's phone was out of order again this week. That's about the fifth time in ever so many months, but this time getting the repair service was just a little different.

When I tried to access the SBC repair service online I was redirected to the new AT&T website. I have to admit I became hostile immediately. I didn't like it when Southwestern Bell and AT&T split years ago and I like it a lot less now that they have connected again.

After I clicked around and finally found the repair service I had to have a number off of my mother's phone bill (I suppose they think we carry our phone bills with us at all times) to log in so I gave it up and decided to call instead. That was my first mistake.

The automated system which reminded me again that I had the new AT&T went through a jillion options. I must have missed a number because I got payment information instead of the repair service and when it said enter five to return to the main menu I was obedient and did just that . . . only to find that there wasn't an option to report repairs.

I hung up. I am now fifteen minutes into my lunch hour and not a happy camper. Brilliantly, I get out the old SBC phone book under my desk and look up the repair service number. Whoo hoo . . . I got SBC's automated repair service. I entered all the requested information and waited while a recording said they were checking the phone number to see if it was working . . . duh . . . isn't that why I called?

After ten more minutes I finally got a nice lady who was actually more frustrated than I was. She explained their computers were not working now and they were unable to check to see if they could fix the problem right then. Her promise was (now note here she didn't say probably, or maybe or if we get to it, because this will come up later) it would be fixed by 7:00 p.m. that evening. Great! I have three minutes to eat my lunch.

I arrived home at 6:45 p.m. I ran down to my mom's house to check her phone. No dial tone. Okay, I am a patient person (hmmmm) so I wait until 7:30 and when the repair man still hasn't come I call the repair service again. Checking on the status of the repair I get a recording that says the phone will be repaired by 7:00 p.m. Well, I'm confused or living in the wrong time zone, but decide to give it another 30 minutes.

At 8:00 I call again and this time I try options until I get put on hold to speak with a representative. Twenty minutes later, and an ear full of the gawd awful-lest music I have ever been subjected to, I hear a human voice on the other end. It is now 8:20 in case you are not keeping up. The representative tells me she will check on the status of the repair, please hold on. My arm is asleep and my hand is stuck to the receiver which is stuck to my ear . . . as if I could hang up if I wanted to.

Between 8:20 and 8:40 the representative comes back to me several times to make sure I am okay, she is trying to locate the tech assigned to the job. Finally, I am informed that the tech is tied up (gosh, I hope to a tree) and won't be able to make the repair tonight but will get it tomorrow. I confront the rep "why did they say it would be fixed by 7:00 p.m. if they couldn't get to it?" Her reply "Oh we NEVER say a repair will be done by an exact time because we never know what might come up."

Okay, okay . . . I found I could pry the phone off my ear if I really wanted to and I slammed the receiver down. Probably broke her ear drum. No, I didn't feel guilty.

The next day the tech came and repaired my mother's phone before noon. He told her a squirrel had damaged the wire. This is the same story we got last time. Mind you now, there are four houses on our street and two poles and we are all hooked up to the same poles but the squirrel picked out my mother's wire twice, not any other wires, to chew on. Give me a break. Something needs to be fixed, all the wires are old, but there's probably no chance of the new AT&T spending any of their budget to fix them.

I am still angry. I hope the squirrel (if there is a squirrel) knows how angry I am and will stay away from my mother's wire for awhile, because if I have to call the new AT&T again . . . they may have to carry me away.

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Money may not buy happiness, but it can buy help

On April 12th, 13 Missouri state employees won a $224.2 million Powerball jackpot. According to the Missouri Lottery website the jackpot was the largest ever won in the 20-year history of the Missouri Lottery and the seventh largest Powerball jackpot awarded in the nation. The age range of the winners were 36-68. Eleven of the winners contributed $5 each to the winning ticket (payoff of $8.5 million each before taxes) and the other two pitched in $2.50 ($4.2 million before taxes). When reporters asked one of the winners what she planned to do with the money her first answer was "pay-off some bills." Surprisingly, "pay-off bills" is the first thing most winners think of, not buy a new car, or buy a new house, or take a trip abroad (all of that probably comes later), but the fact that in the beginning the most important thing to winners is to get out of debt.

Most of the people I know that play the Lottery play it for fun and for hope. They buy a $5 ticket a week. Their hope is not that they can live a life of luxury, but that they can pay medical bills, provide (not buy, it's not about buying . . . it's about providing) some things for their family that they can't now afford.

If I won the lottery I don't think it would make me a bit happier than I am right now in my life, because we all know, money does not buy happiness. It would give me great pleasure to be able to; pay a private nurse to help my mother care for my dad, afford the best and newest medications and health care for my husband, replace the 25year old roof on our house; help all my kids a little, and see that all my grandkids get a few extras. Life will go on without any of these things happening and we will probably never be the worst for it. But . . .

Attribute this to my "grey area" or liberalism . . . I don't believe buying a $5 lottery ticket a week is a sin. I think if you bought $500 worth of lottery tickets and your family didn't have food on the table . . . it would be a sin. Unfortunately, I am not proud to say I sin every time I order a steak and eat until I make myself sick.

Many of us spend $5 a week on Big Macs, ballgame tickets, or other recreation (bottled water and diet Dr. Pepper are my downfalls), what is the difference in spending $5 on a lottery ticket. For some it's fun, it brings them hope and maybe . . . just maybe . . . it will provide them with a little extra help.

To get back to the Missouri Lottery news. According to the website, from February 19-April 12, out of the $22 million in Powerball tickets that were sold, approximately $8.6 million of those sales will go to Missouri's public education programs. If we could just get some of that money for state health care programs . . . we would be on a roll!

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